...in the mean time...

i am working on a blog of all blogs and it should be done in the next couple of days as i think and digest what i've read. i'm re-reading a book from college called "The Critical Journey" and am thoroughly enjoying my reading right now. like, massively. i can't help but analyze my journey with Jesus since the last time i read the book (which i think was 6-7 years ago...wow). but in it, well, i'm saving most of my thoughts for the next blog, but i feel like i've moved stages since the last time i read this.

the rain today makes me happy. i love it and my reasoning is probably psychotic. years ago, like 10-14 years ago, i lived in a time where stability was gone-i practically lived on my own at 14, without much guidance (except naomi's mom and my dad later in high school when i moved back in the house). in it, i kind of got addicted to instability (probably contributing to my insane love of moving to a new house every year-i dont care if it's 1 mile away-its new!). and in that instability i found comfort. instability was stability for me. so when things were super stable, it was like i had a crisis. i didnt know what to do. 

so as I have grown, gone to counseling and become more stable, at times i look to other external things, out of my control (like the weather) that give me this funny feeling like something crazy is happening. the rain is something that in California doesn't get, as it is on the dry side, so snow at low elevations and heavy amounts of rain is out of the ordinary. I got so excited about this ridiculous snow/rain storm as it was unpredictable.  a bit crazy. a bit different. or maybe i am just easily excitable. haha.

so thanks rain, for coming today, and helping me realize how much i love you, for probably crazy reasons. i think i better stop blogging and listen as it might be gone soon and the predictable sun will arrive.