Friday, May 29, 2009

where has the time gone?

well...I haven't blogged in basically a month because, well, the moments I have are minimal and consumed with other things. I miss blogging and think it will get better has time goes on, but for right now, they are probably going to be a once a month occurrence.

I am sitting in Java Junction, just rocked Jackson to sleep in his car seat and hope he stays asleep long enough for me to finish this post. But my brain doesn't work as fast as it used to, and every brain synapses seems delayed. I have enjoyed my soon-to-be 11 weeks off. (I think it's been 11. I cant count anymore.) I can't believe it has been that long. I probably could take 6 months off and have it fly by, too. I have been dealing with a lot of "enjoy this moment while it lasts" comments. Have I cherished every moment? Honestly, no. I have had my fair share of irritating moments when I can't console Jack or he's pooped on me or spat up on my outfit - twice - and have felt a twinge of, i'm not sure the feeling, but it isn't a happy one. I don't even remember the first 6 weeks. He's already not a newborn anymore. I am packing away his newborn clothes. He's not much of a cuddler, so those days have passed. Can you truly enjoy every moment? I get depressed thinking he'll soon be rolling over, sitting up, walking and talking and then graduate high school. Will I enjoy each moment? I hope so. Will I wish he could be at the next developmental level? Probably. I'm not looking forward to the "why" stage or the black-and-white-concrete-operational stage.

All this to say, I don't know. Enjoying the moment is hard when life moves faster than it ever has before. All I know is that I want him to know in every fiber of his being how much Mike and I love him and how much God loves him. Even when we find ourselves having to discipline or have hard talks. We love him. Jesus loves him. Unconditionally.

I think I will enjoy this moment today, sitting in Java J, loving my little guy. And thankfully, he's still asleep.

little known facts about the bacons

Over memorial day weekend, we had a Bacon family reunion. I had no idea what to expect. I went to one 21 years ago and all I remember is some cousin-like boy following me around and trying to kiss me. I think. Anyway, Mike, Jackson and I took the trek up to Alameda to visit some family.

We arrive and had one heck of a time finding parking within the condo complex, but that's besides the point. Our cousin Marilyn, now in her 60's, has taken a lot of time over the years tracing back our lineage. It's neat-we have a lot of English royalty and heritage traced way back to 1200. We met at her place -a quaint, neat condo near the water.

Our current family is pretty fractured. My grandfather was an alcoholic and my grandmother and he got divorced when my dad was a kid. He came from a long line of leavers as well, so it only made sense he would do the same. He died in 2001 from alcohol poisoning. He had 4 siblings that I had yet to meet (unless they were at the reunion when I was 7).

At the reunion was my two uncles; a cousin and her family; my dad, step mom and brother; 2nd cousin Marilyn and Great Uncle Jack. Jack was the oldest of all the Bacon brothers (my grandfather's siblings). I had no idea that I had any other family living from that generation (and really, neither did my dad, which shows the fracture in the family). Jack and the siblings spent some time in Santa Cruz, which I had no idea. Jack actually worked at Horsnyder Pharmacy in the 30's to support the family when my great-grandfather left. As I read over the biography of Jack, I found out he and his family were baptized at a church in Santa Cruz in the early 50's. It was intriguing to me, so I asked Marilyn if she knew which church it was that they were baptized. She responds, "Oh, it was the First Presbyterian Church, the red brick church in Santa Cruz". I respond with an emphatic, "I work there!". This spurs a conversation about the church, the name change, why we don't call ourselves Presbyterian anymore. My uncle, who is maybe spiritual, says, "Coincidence? I think NOT!". I agreed with him, hoping he wasn't being sarcastic and me looking like I don't get the joke. It was so neat to know that we have heritage at the church that extends beyond our generation. Who knows if Jack is a Jesus follower or not but God has used this church in our family more than once now.

On another note, I found out that my great-grandfather was a musician in the silent movies. How cool is that? I have always wondered where my brother and my love for music came from, and only rings truer now the name "the artist formerly known as bacon" as the Bacon's were actually talented. Ha!

Friday, May 1, 2009

25 seconds

Ok, I have about 25 seconds to blog before Jackito wakes up and asks politely to be fed. Hmm...what do I blog about? Swine Flu (H1R1 or whatever the politically correct name is now)? Arlen Specter moving to the other side of the aisle? Sarah Jessica Parker and her twins via surrogate? time for that. Too long of a subject for the amount of time given. I shall share with you my life over the last 6 weeks (namely, the last 3 days in particular).

a day of the life mama martin
3:00-5:00am: somewhere in this time frame, Jack realizes a) his is sitting in an incredible amount of pee and b) he's thinking about eating carpet fuzz he's so hungry. I, after realizing he's been fussing for probably 5-10 minutes, drags Mike out of bed to change him.
3:00: Dad changes him as I get ready to feed while Jack screams his head off.
3:10: Feed him for around an hour, of which I am awake for 10. turn on the TV for stimulation to stay awake. Wake up to my own head bobs.

4:30-6:30am: Between this time, Jack decides if he will go back to sleep or pull out the torture method of staying up this wee early. Lately he's decided that 4:30 is suitable wake up call and I've been up with him. Dad sleeps before getting ready for work most days and I watch plenty of the morning news. If he does go back to's not for long.

5:00-7:00am: repeat the cycle of 3:00-5:00am.

9:30am: Dad leaves for work...i.e. Jack has separation anxiety. He loves Daddy, which is real cute...up to hour 5 of fussing or crying for no apparent reason.

9:00am-6:00pm: repeat cycle of 3:00-5:00 am at least 4 times (without Daddy Diaper Service available). Usually this cycle continues without a nap. Or at most 15-30 minutes if I am lucky. One day, I had a full hour. It was bliss.

1:00pm: meet up with Dad for lunch. Try to throw together a sandwich between cries 1 and 2, and diaper change 2 and 3 of this cycle.

2:00-4:00pm: try to run an errand or two. Jack does great with this-loves the car, loves motion and he might even get a nap in, too! we work well on accomplishing the goals of the day this way. He's like his mother-hates being couped up in the house.

6:00pm: Dad comes home. As he walks in the door, I pass baby off to Dad and go for a run.

6:00-9:00pm: repeat eat and poop cycles above. One of us attempts to make dinner while the other plays with the baby. I am usually the one in the kitchen. Jack is obviously tired at this point in time and tries to keep his heavy eyelids open. Doesnt work well, and he crashes sometime during this point. We silently pray for a 5-8 hour stretch of sleep.

9:00-11:00pm: look at the dirty dishes and give it considerable thought about cleaning but instead watch either: the biggest loser, america's next top model, the Thursday night NBC lineup, or something on Bravo. Well...that is what I do. Mike plays WoW. Try to clean between commercials. Have an adult conversation.

11:00pm: lately Jack's been dumping this night feeding and sleeping until the 3-5am wake up call, but every once in a while, he wants to eat with Jay Leno.

repeat cycle everyday.

Well, ok, I'll confess, this was not written in 25 seconds. It was written during the course of the morning, in between cries, poops and feedings. Well...dirty diaper is calling.