Pregnant diaries: Nesting...already?

Ok, the day leading up to the night of the horrible dream that woke me up at 3:30 am was probably the most fun I have had yet being pregnant. I had basically drank my first cup of coffee in, well, 2 months and had a day full of meetings which charged me up and I was rarin' to go when I got home. I knew there would be a chance we could be moving down the street and I was manic all day. I realized that I needed to harness this enormous amount of energy I somehow acquired and decided to go through our back closet, which has been full of boxes since July 2006. I haven't even looked at it since. 

I love caffeine. I went through 4 boxes in 3 hours that night and had so much energy, I could have kept going through things until the drugs wore off. But, needless to say, I was freaking out Mike who had a conversation with someone the day before who mentioned..."Sarah's going to change. She will be a different person the next 6 months and there is nothing you can do about it. So find an outlet." Lo and behold, he had his first interaction with Manic Sarah the very next day. 

I tried to recreate the amount of energy I had on Tuesday today, had a quick latte at the Abbey and went home to take over the world...and it just didn't work. I feel like i have been faking it. I have gone through more boxes and bags (because we are in fact moving down the street, super excited about that!) today but it's been lackluster. Oh, weird nesting energy, where did you go? Could you come back today? I have more to do!! 

Attention Moms - want your input!

Ok, so as I progress in this whole pregnancy thing, I am realizing there is SO MUCH STUFF out there for a baby that been in the world for like, 30 days. It's amazing. I am slightly overwhelmed by all the possibilities. So...as I start to put together the registry, here is the question: what shwag has been the best investment for you for the first year? I mean, there are bottle warmers, wipe warmers, swings, bouncers, jumpers, mobiles, you name it, they have made it. What actually worked for you? What did you think was not worth the time? I'd love to have your thoughts as I am so...brand new to all of this! 

pregnant diaries: protection

something odd happened to me last night. around 3:30 in the morning, I woke up in this panicky, full-of-adrenaline feeling pumping through my body after a bad dream that kept me up for hours afterward. I had a dream that my brother fell in the shower and lost his leg in the shower (I know, this could probably never happen). He started screaming for my mom (luckily, she was there in my dream), but I came racing in to help in this protective way, and the feelings I felt were as if it were real and Greg was actually my child. 

Ok, this is straight up weird. I have never been the "motherly" type. I just said to someone how much I will take from my parents parenting style and I won't shelter our child, that the kid will be loved but given plenty of room to learn on their own, that I want them to see the world as it is, not some rosy picture I ideally paint that gets crushed at 16 when their first boyfriend dumps them (or realistically, at 11). This person had said that I was in denial about the real feelings and issues I had about my parents parenting (for those who know my parents, they are wonderful, godly people now but I grew up in a pretty non-traditional, dysfunctional household). It's like this is manifesting in my dreams as I sleep at night. These new feelings I had never felt before are coming out. I feel like I have been injected with something. It's honestly, really scary to feel something you have never felt before. Protection is something that pumped through my veins at 3:30 this morning that kept me up for 2 hours. Protection is something that I needed as a kid, but did not know it and pushed it away. Something I will feel for years to come.

I feel like I am Ben Stiller in the movie "Zoolander" as he looks down into a reflection of a puddle and asks, "Who am I?" Except I am not a male supermodel. Didn't just lose a modeling award. And don't plan on working in a coal mine anytime soon.

A Quick Analysis on the New Gavin Rossdale Song

Ok, I am not usually this picky about music (ok, I really am, I will be honest) but I have noticed two things about this new song. As you may know, Gavin Rossdale was the lead singer of the mid-90's band, Bush, who had major success in the alternative air waves, then met Gwen Stefani, decided to date, get married and be a house husband while Gwen toured the world with all her CD's she has made with her band No Doubt and in her solo career. If you remember, Gavin was a hot commodity in the 90's with all the alterna-chicks and post grunge kids. I was a big, big fan. 

Now, about 12 years later, he has released his first solo album (that I am aware of) with a hit song called "Love Remains the Same". My experience with this song has been on 1) soft rock radio stations and 2) TV commercials for "The Biggest Loser" and a new movie with Richard Gere and some other middle aged lady as they dance on the beach in their cashmere sweaters. Now, I know this pins me as a soft rock listener (only when I am stuck in traffic as they are the only stations that offer traffic updates) and a commercial watcher (i do watch TV, I will be honest), but I will let you be the judge.

But here's my question-has Gavin just sold out to what would make him a little bit of money? Or maybe he's aged and this is his new market? OR there are no other good songs for commercials since the Jay Leno lookalike from American Idol who sang the jingle the Ford commercials? Maybe some of these artists are not wanting to go the way of the commercial jingle or maybe commercial marketers are very particular whose songs they pick? Either way, I am a little sad to see Gavin Rossdale go the way of the middle aged movie and letting go of his youth. Yet...it was 12 years ago and well, things change. We age. And so does Gavin.

Pregnant Diaries: First Belly Rub by a Stranger

Ok, so this is a complaint for some, some find it endearing. I was in my chiropractor's office who shares an office with a cute older midwife. She seems so sweet. There was a lady who had a newborn (like under 8 weeks) with her. Somehow or another, I find myself in conversation with those ladies, who ends up asking how far along I am. The midwife, who probably touches bellies on a daily basis, touches mine ever so briefly and says, "what...16 weeks?" I'm a bit caught off guard thinking i might look farther along than I actually am, I correct her and say, "14 weeks actually" and then I was ushered into my chiropractor's office. It was a brief interaction but has now been a life altering experience as I know it will only get worse from here.

I'm still trying to decide how I feel about this. It wasn't a TOTAL stranger-I mean she's a midwife, and touches bellies all the time, but was totally caught off guard since I was not her patient and I am not protruding like a true, full term pregnant woman. I am slightly flattered. Slightly weirded out. Slightly intrigued. Slightly excited for the many more hands to touch the Martin baby. Slightly freaked out by all the guys who hit on pregnant women and wonder if I am next (I'm not kidding, I have seen it in action). But in the mean time, I am going to relish in this new milestone - I have officially had my belly touched by a stranger. 

Pregnant Diaries: Trimester 1

Well...yep, it's official. We are having a little thing called a baby. Honestly, exciting yes, but freaks me out. A little child that will need ME for the next 18-24 years (or beyond???) well, it's a bit scary but I'm taking the plunge and figured if I can't beat 'em, I'll join 'em. 

How I am feeling: Well, i'm nauseous every morning and have to eat the second I wake up. I have the hiccups more now than I ever have in the past. I get "one-liners" now-1 hiccup that is so loud that it could wake the dead, and then I'm done. I have a nose that can smell B.O., bad breath and any other gross bodily function from a million miles away. I literally almost threw up in line at Longs because of someone's bad breath behind me. That was a bad, bad day. Oh, I almost forgot-I sleep so much that I don't have a social life at all. Like 10-12 hours a day plus an afternoon nap (yawn). I feel like I am reverting to childhood. 

How I am doing: really, i am doing pretty well. I think i might still be in shock, but that's ok. Until I am officially showing, I don't think it will set in. And, I am a little freaked out by the fact that I will gain weight. I know, it's inevitable, it's just, well, counterintuitive to me. But hey, whatever is best for baby. I'm getting excited to meet the little spawn of Mike and me. What will it look like? Will it have Mike's haircut and my english toes? Will it be blonde like we were as kids and get Mike's curly hair during puberty? will it be taller than me? Will it come out with horns and a tail? Or worse yet, a Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater tied around it's shoulders, polo shirt and khaki pants, never cracking a joke in its whole entire life? Oh boy. I know, so many things to think about. All I am hoping for is that it's healthy, has Mike's intelligence and my sense of humor (or Mike's. As long as it's funny. That is all that matters).

Ultrasound: That was really crazy. We watched it and it already has symptoms of ADD. It lounged, flipped, sat on the other side, got on it's knees, waved...it was a trip. Our technician kept saying, "you have a rockstar in there!" over and over. Oh boy. The technician said she doesn't give 100% gender descriptions this early, but she thought she had seen some male genitalia. There's a picture that on the bottom, which has an arrow pointing to the possible...manhood. You can be the judge and we will see in 7 weeks if that is so!