Pregnant Diaries: Childbirth Class - week 1

Well, you know that you are having a baby for real when you sign up for a childbirth class. It sinks into deep reality when you actually show up to class (in all fear and trembling). "They" say you should take a class in your second trimester, when you are more comfortable and have energy, so we signed up for a class at Sutter Hospital in August, when we were just starting the second trimester. I remember thinking, "gosh, November is so far away. I'm sure I'll be huge by then" looking down at my lack of a belly bump. Well, time flies (in case you haven't heard) and here we are, in November, and here I am, taking a childbirth class. 

It was a nice Wednesday night. Unfortunately, Mike had the flu so he ended up staying home that night. I show up a few minutes early, sign in on the little "sign in" sheet and sit down. I look down at my syllabus for the class, try not to hyperventilate, realizing that I am sure I look like a single mom whose boyfriend left her at the moment she shared the news with him (nothing wrong with that, but just saying) and scan the room. Everyone looks more pregnant than me (for the record, it was cold so I layered that day, which I am sure played a factor in my lack of bump and all the ladies were all due earlier than me). Everyone. Even the men. There is only one other lady without a spousal/partner unit there and she came in late so we didn't have a chance to really say hi. I realize I probably look like a crazy who "shows" up to these things, psychologically thinking she is pregnant but isn't and just had a really big burrito for dinner that night. 

So, the first thing she makes us do it mingle. Ok, I know I make everyone mingle at Vintage at times and it can be super, duper awkward. I really do know and feel your pain. But there is NOTHING more awkward than having to play "baby bingo" with 18 couples who are much farther along than me, who are all thinking I'm a crazy who shows up at baby classes who probably has never been pregnant her life. Everyone was really nice, but I can't help but wonder what they were thinking. And all I think about is during this time of forced socialization is that I want the class to actually start and talk about the important things coming up, not playing bingo (for no prize, mind you) with men and women with real bumps. 

Anyway, the rest of the class does go by quickly, with large diagrams of full term babies, a video of the stages of labor (even including a crotch shot of a baby coming out! The mom cries, "that doesn't look like a baby!" when asked to look down at it), a time of class discussion, mostly talking about the questions the men had. Everything was going smoothly, practicing some breathing techniques until in came to a screeching halt. Time to practice partner-led breathing. Oh crap. 

I look for my single mom compadre and we both give each other the "want to be my partner?" look and we get settled to practice. But before we start, the instructor comes over to us and says, "so, you're flying solo tonight?" "Yes", we both reply. Then she splits us up, my friend practicing with someone's 2nd birth coach (yep, she brought 2) and I end up being teacher's example. 

Honestly, it was nice having her as the one to teach me the technique, because in turn I had to go home and teach it to Mike. At least she knows what she is doing. But it was also weird knowing that the whole class was probably watching me to make sure they were doing the technique right. Luckily, class ended right after that and I split as soon as I could and got out of there.

So that was my first week's experience. Can't wait for next Wednesday! I am thinking it could only go up from here, right?